When I was in seventh grade, I remember sitting at my desk in my English class with my textbook opened to the introductory page of our newest short story unit. The theme: Who am I? As a seventh grader, I pondered why that question served as the foundation for an entire literature unit. Isn't a person's identity simply linked to their physical characteristics, parentage/family history, job, and choice of friends? As I soon learned, the concept of one's identity is anything but simple, and even as an adult, after knowing myself for over thirty years, I still cannot formulate a succinct answer to this question.
Who am I? We spend our lifetime pondering this question, and the answer to this question evolves as our life progresses to each successive chapter. Are we truly the sum of all our parts, or are we the attributes of ourselves that we pick and choose for others to see?
I have always been very intrigued about the idea of each person living in their own, unique version of reality; our perceptions of ourselves as well as of other people are all unique and based on our individual life experiences/interactions. In my reality, I see my "whole", unfiltered self: the good, bad, and ugly. Of course, like a vast majority of people, I try to minimize the amount of exposure of my "bad" or "ugly" sides to other people, but, inevitably, they emerge from time to time. In general, family and close friends tend to be more forgiving and understanding when one's "bad" or "ugly" side emerges, as family and close friends have had more time to get to know and enjoy one's "good" side; this is less so the case with strangers and acquaintances, who, with one bad experience and nothing else upon which to base a judgement of a person's character or identity, will form a negative opinion about a person when they see that person's "bad" or "ugly" side.
The beauty of human relationships lies in the fact that they are malleable: a simple action or experience with another person can drastically change one's opinion of that person and that person's identity in the eye of one, or several, people. A simple kind gesture can be the springboard of a friendship. A compliment can be the first step towards a romantic relationship. A consensual hug or handshake can lay the first bricks for the foundation of a community. Terse words can cause life-long rifts among family, friends, or romantic partners. Fumbling one's words in a speech can mar a person's identity in the eyes of the public. Throughout most of human history, once an action has taken place, it becomes a piece of the past, unable to be altered, and never to be replayed. A person could be forgiven for a cruel action over time, and the action itself would remain in the past...
...and then came the dawn of Smartphones and social media.
According to an article by Flores (2018), social media gives a lot more permanence to a person's careless or hurtful words and actions, as, if there is evidence of those words or actions posted to social media, even deleting the evidence will not permanently remove it, as other people have the ability to take screenshots, save media to their device, and reupload these screenshots and media to other places on the Internet. Imagine having one of your worst moments recorded and uploaded to the Internet for a world-wide audience to see! Even years after the incident had passed, new audiences would watch the moment and make judgements about you and your character. This mistake would become a permanent part of your identity.
As an example of how one bad decision on social media can have a permanent impact on a person's reputation, Flores' (2018) article cites Roseanne Barr's 2018 Tweets that ultimately cost Roseanne her place on the reboot of her TV show and her reputation among many contacts in Hollywood and members of the general public. Although several years have passed since this incident took place, nobody is able to search for Roseanne's name in a public database without finding articles about this incident or images of the original Tweets. This Tweet now becomes part of Roseanne's digital footprint, and ultimately her online identity, that will follow her for life.
Although social media can benefit our relationships with others by providing an online space in which people can establish and maintain connections with others that are "...similar to [the connections] obtained in offline relationships" (Grieve et. al, 2013, p. 608), it is important to remember that everything we post or write online - even if we are writing something in a "private" chat to somebody else or posting a picture to a supposedly-private account - permanently becomes part of our identity. It's also important to stress the importance of the digital footprint to the younger generation, living out their adolescent and college years via social media - and not always making the wisest choices about what to post.
So who are we? Just as before, we appear to be the sum of our parts. In the offline world, we are still as complex and multifaceted as ever. However, in the age of Smartphones and social media, unfortunately, every digital "mistake" can be saved and thus permanently becomes part of our identity, which further emphasizes the need to think before you post and to the teach the younger generations to do the same.
References
Flores, T. (2018). How your social media defines you more than you think. Unwritten. Retrieved January 17, 2022, from https://www.readunwritten.com/2018/06/07/how-social-media-defines-you/
Grieve, R., Indian, M., Witteveen, K., Tolan, G. A., & Marrington, J. (2013). Face-to-face or Facebook: Can social connectedness be derived online? Computers in Human Behavior, 29(3), 604-609.
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