Bigger isn't better - but smarter is!

In modern American society, children are told that they can grow up to achieve anything they so desire.  Do you want to be an astronaut?  Good, you can do it!  Do you want to be a famous singer?  You can do it!  Do you want to be President of the U.S.?  If you were born in this country, you can do it!  Kids grow up thinking that any of their wildest dreams can be achieved with nothing more than self confidence, motivation to keep trying if times are tough, and a pinch of good luck. 

What completely baffles me is the fact that while society is preaching to children that they can be anything they want to be, nowhere are children being told that achieving goals doesn’t happen in the blink of an eye.  Reality check, kids:  you’re not just going to be approached out of nowhere while you’re at the grocery store and asked if you’d like to be President of the United States.  A big talent agent isn’t going to “discover” you if you have never sung in front of anybody in your life.  You’re never going to be offered a job as an astronaut if you spend your life working in retail.  Achieving goals simply doesn’t happen without taking the preliminary steps to get there.

Back in fifth grade, a bunch of my classmates and I were asked to write a paragraph describing what we believed we would be doing in our lives in the year 2015 (this was back in 1998, which would put all of us at the age of 26 or 27 in the year 2015).  Most of my classmates wrote paragraphs about becoming famous athletes, actors/actresses, and rich doctors.  My peers all desired fame and fortune, for they felt they deserved both simply because they could dream about it.  After all, mom and dad always said they were great and showered them with presents all the time (oh, the fun of growing up in a "privileged" community...), so that meant they were entitled to all the fame and fortune in the world, right?  

Did any of these people actually grow up to achieve their goals?  Obviously, 2015 is still three years away, so I can’t say for certain that these childhood dreams have gone unfulfilled at this point in time, but what I can say is that the likelihood of these dreams becoming a reality for most of my former classmates is slim.  If you rarely drag yourself outside of the house to practice your soccer techniques, how do you expect to be able to play the game well enough to earn a college scholarship for soccer?  If you can't even make your college's official soccer team, you’re not going to become a famous soccer player.  If you don’t even take acting or voice lessons when you’re young and aren’t talented enough to land a lead role in the school play or musical at some point in time, guess what?  You’re not going to be a famous actress.  And what about the girl who wanted to be a doctor?  Getting into medical school is tough, and in order to get there, you need to do exceptionally well in school in order to get into a topnotch college and continue to do exceptionally well in undergrad in order to have a chance of getting into medical school.  I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to achieve something for which you did not work.

So what’s really going on here?  Are kids setting their goals too high?  Should they aim lower?  Not at all!  In fact, I’d encourage my students to have big dreams and go for them; I just want them to be aware that “going for them” involves a lot of hard work starting at a young age.  If they want the dream badly enough, they will work for it, even through the most difficult times.  Kids need to be taught from a young age that a strong work ethic and careful planning are the most important - and critical! - steps in fulfilling their dreams.  Only after kids recognize the need for these two vital ingredients are they in the position to either go forth and achieve their dream or discover they want to strive for a different dream along the way, which is immeasurably better than growing up to become depressed adults plagued with regrets and unfulfilled dreams.

By the way, in case you were wondering, I wrote that in 2015, I’d be getting "a degree or two" in something I enjoy (“Whatever that is.”)  In real life, I finished two degrees by 2011, so now what?  Do I get a prize for my prediction actually coming true (and coming true four years ahead of time)?  I'm expecting a trophy from my elementary school any day now engraved with the message, "I DONE GROWED UP AND ACHIEVEDEDED STUFF!!!11!" in messy, little-kid writing, preferably with all e's flipped backwards.  :-P